I Will Eat Old Age and Stress For Breakfast
It's beginning to be the daily "special" on the menu. Yogurt, with a side of stress.
At the end of a wedding day, a very long wedding day. I hate to admit it that I feel every year of my age but I do. I don’t want to, but I do. However, I still made magic. That’s what women my age do.
This week - it's this. You know how you're told to stand up for yourself, be bold, be brave, never let anyone run over you (I did that once and gave it a name, divorce.) Stand up for what you believe in, never be a dish-rag. At least that's what More, Vogue, Bazaar, even AARP magazines preach. It's time for women to be strong. Never leave anyone - your friends, your boss, your family - guessing where you stand. I watch the reverence of Sheryl Sandberg, the grit of Tina Fey, the grace of Governor Nikki Haley and I understand what I must do.
Then, I do it.
Taking the high road, the bold stand is hard (understatement of the year!). Making a bold stand has always been a struggle for me, and when it comes to the moment where I speak up or press "send," it takes everything in me to go against the status quo. I call it the Southern Guilt Syndrome which isn't a diagnosis, but more a way of life for some Southern women who were raised (yes, raised) by strong, stalwart, non-forgiving, bull-headed Southern mothers. I am lucky enough to be one of the some.
Days like today, I HATE this guilt that which looms just over my left shoulder. Like the freaky angel and horny devil, one on either side, the guilt never goes away. Sometimes the angel (common sense) wins; other times, the devil (Southern guilt and stupidity). Today, I simply have too much to do.
I want to cover a safari, and I’m dealing with a PR rep half my age, promising her the moon and trying to solidify my value. I know what I’m worth. Why doesn’t she? I hate dealing with these young ones who toy with you in emails, and in the end, say ‘No.” It gets harder and harder to prove my worth as a woman and as a team, but I keep going.
In my calendar, I have written in BOLD letters: “Go and Get What You Want.” And so I do.
At the Georgia Safari Conservation Park in Madison. I covered this and covered it brilliantly. However, it only made me want for more. The African safari where animals are not contained or numbered but roam free and thrive. That’s my wish.
As our photography business grows, our travels increase, the chores pile up, and my dreams keep intensifying. I sit back, take a deep breath and chew the stuffing out of this stress/guilt/angel/devil/PRyounguns. I got this because I want this. So go away. I've got to keep moving.
Be bold. Stand up for yourself. Destroy those demons early in the day - for breakfast. You got this.